


The Beexorcism

by orphan_account



Category: RWBY
Genre: Blasphemy, Exorcism, F/F, I'm Going to Hell, i guess?, may this hiatus be cleansed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 04:04:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17859944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: I found an actual exorcism prayer and modified it for this fandom. I hope this makes up for my sins, cleanses the fandom, and frees us from this hell part of the hiatus.I'm pretty sure I'm actually going to hell for this, so I hope you all are happy.-the Bloap/Yoap fic author





	The Beexorcism

Prayer to St. Arryn the Bumbleby Captain

In the Name of Yang

And Blake

And the Actually Good AUs.

Amen.

 

Most Glorious Queen of the Bumbleby Armies,

Saint Arryn the Bumbleby Captain,

Defend us in our battle against Cursed AUs,

Against the creators of these Cursed AUs,

Against these writers of wickedness on AO3 and Tumblr

 

Come to the assistance of Bumbleby shippers

Who have been begging for these AUs to come to an end.

The shippers venerate you as their guardian and protector;

To you have been entrusted the souls of the redeemed shippers to be led into Bee Heaven.

Pray therefore the God of Bees to crush the Cursed AU Creators beneath our feet,

That they may no longer write cursed fics and do injury to the fandom

Offer our prayers to the God of Bees,

That without delay she may draw mercy down upon us;

Take hold of “the yorse, the yilk, the bloap/yoap, which are the devils,”

Bind them and cast them into the bottomless pit

“That they may no longer torture the fans.”

 

**Exorcism**

 

In the name of the God of Bees,

Strengthened by the intercession of the Good AU Writers,

Of Blessed Arryn the Queen Bee,

Of the Blessed AU Creators,

And powerful in the holy authority of our writing,

We confidently undertake to repulse the attacks and deceits of yorse and yilk and bloap/yoap.

The God of Bees arises;

Her enemies are scattered

And those who love Cursed AUs flee before her.

As smoke is driven away,

So are they driven;

As wax melts before the fire,

So the Cursed AUs perish at the presence of the God of Bees.

  
V. Behold the Bike Bumblebee, flee bands of Cursed AUs.

R. The Queen Bee Arryn hath conquered.

V. May thy mercy, Arryn, descend upon us.

R. As great as our hope in thee.

 

We drive you from us,

Whichever Cursed AU you may be,

Unclean AUs,

All yorse powers,

All yilk invaders,

All bloap/yoap legions,

Fics and anon messages.

 

In the Name and by the power of Queen Bee Arryn, may you be snatched away and driven from AO3 and Tumblr and from the souls made happy by the Precious Love of Blake and Yang.

 

Most cunning yorse, you shall no more dare to trample with your yooves, invade Beehaw, torment Bee fans and disturb them.

 

The God of Bees commands you, she with whom, in your great cursedness, you still claim to be equal.

 

“The God of Bees who wants all fans to be safe and come to the knowledge of the Good AUs.”

 

The God of Bees commands you. Queen Arryn commands you. Blake and Yang command you.

 

In the name and by the power of Queen Arryn, may you be snatched away and driven from the Bumbleby fandom and from the souls who love non-cursed AUs and redeemed by Bee angst and fluff and good fics and AUs.

 

Most cunning yorse, you shall no more dare to torment the Bee fans, generate cursed content, and infect Beehaw.

 

The God of Bees commands you, she with whom, in your great cursedness, you still claim to be equal.

 

“The God of Bees who wants all fans to be safe and come to the knowledge of the Good AUs.”

 

The God of Bees commands you. Queen Arryn commands you. Blake and Yang command you.

 

Thus, cursed yilk, and you, diabolical Cursed AU legions, we adjure you by the God of Bees, stop tormenting the poor shippers and pouring out to them the poison of Cursed Fics; stop harming the Bee shippers and hindering the newcomers’ enjoyment.

 

Begone, Bloap/Yoap, continuer and advancer of all that is cursed, enemy of Bee shippers’ peace and prosperity.

 

Give place to Queen Arryn by whom Yorse has been called terrible; give place to the Good AUs created by non-cursed writers at the price of their time and effort. 

 

Stoop beneath the all-powerful Hand of the God of Bees; tremble and flee when we invoke the Holy and terrible name of Arryn Zech, this name which causes Cursed AUs to tremble, this name which causes hiatus hell to tremble, this name to which the Virtues and Powers of Bee heaven are beeholden to, this name which the Bee shippers praise unceasingly repeating: “I felt it in my balls since Volume 1.”

 

V. O God of Bees, hear my prayer.

R. And let my cry come unto thee.

V. May the True Bees be with thee.

R. And with thy spirit.

 

Let us pray.

 

Bee God of Bee heaven,

Bee God of Remnant,

Bee God of Good AU creators,

Bee God of Good Canon-compliant writers,

Bee God of Bumbleby BNFs,

Bee God of Good Anons,

Bee God of those who receive Cursed AU anon messages and suffer,

Bee God of those who have confessed their Cursed Sins,

Bee God of new Bumbleby fans,

 

Bee God who has power to give good fics after the season and things to look forward to after work:

Because there is no other Bee God than thee and there can bee no other,

For thou art the patron of the creators of all good Bee things,

Credited and Anon,

Of whose reign there shall be no end,

We humbly prostrate ourselves before thy glorious majesty,

And we beeseech thee to deliver us by thy power and the power of those you are patron of

From all the tyrany of the infernal yorse,

From their yilk,

their bloap and yoap and all other Cursed AUs.

 

Deign, O Queen Bee Arryn,

To grant us thy powerful protection

And to keep us safe and sound.

We beeseech thee through Beesus.

 

Amen.

 

V. From the snares of the yorse,

R. Deliver us, O Queen Bee Arryn.

V. That thy fans may write and draw and celebrate in peace and liberty:

R. We beeseech thee to hear us.

V. That thou may crush down all enemies of Good Bee AUs:

R. We beeseech thee to hear us.

 

(Holy water, blessed by the bike Bumblebee which fell into it, is sprinkled on Tumblr, AO3, Twitter, and anywhere else touched by Cursed AUs.)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think I can put links in here, so in case the following link doesn't work (even with spaces), if you google "exorcism prayer" I took that one and just modified it for this cursed hiatus, because I'm nothing if not committed to accuracy. Like I said...prooooobably going to hell for this so I hope it works.
> 
> https : // www. catholic. org/ prayers/ prayer. php ?p= 682


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